Even a Donkey

 Years ago, I preached regularly at a local prison. My mentor told me to simply “unload the gospel.” It was the best advice ever.

I often question my ability to do this. To unload the gospel.

 Telling God’s love story for each of us?  That is both the scariest and the truest thing I can write. It is the thing I must do.  It  intimidates me the most.

After all, I am just an ordinary mid-to late-lifer. I work part time in a nature school and teach English as a Second language online.  I am a volunteer in the Texas Prison systems.

My human frailties are endless. Particularly my addiction to codependency and the trifecta of perfectionism, control and people-pleasing that can come with it.  

I am an empty-nester.

 I am a Gigi.

 I am happily married to Hot Stuff,man who has exemplified Christ’s unconditional love in human form. We share our home with a dog, a cat and a good friend.

In other words, I’m just a girl who loves Jesus and her family.

Who am I to share God’s love story?

 God’s call to come JUST AS WE ARE is central throughout the Gospels. (Mathew 11:28, John 6:37, Luke 5:32, John 7:37, Mark 2:17) Apparently? Just me..is enough.

Come, He says, Follow Me. We have work to do. (Mathew 4:19, John 10:27)

  And, what an adventure following Him has been! Who would have thought I would develop this whole church family behind prison walls?

While I love my time in the prison, there were (and are) a handful of men that could not stand the idea of me preaching. Hanging out with the choir, the drama team, praying with the prayer team, that was all fine.

But, in their hearts these men believe a woman should not be preaching.

 I just showed up, listened, prayed, loved and unloaded the Gospel anyway.

One Sunday, I was talking to one of my brothers -in-Christ at the prison before a choir practice.

My friend whom we will call O” looks at me and says, “You know when people complain about you preaching, I tell them ‘Hey, if God could use Baalam’s donkey (Numbers 22:21-39), He can use Nicole, too.’

“O“meant this as encouragement.

“Are you comparing me to a donkey?”, I laughed.

My brother-in-Christ turned red. “No, it’s just that..”

“No worries”, I assure him.  “I appreciate the Word, and you are right. If God can use a donkey, then surely, he can use me.”

Now on days when I am overwhelmed with insecurities, I remember the donkey.

 I show up in front of my computer and say “Okay Jesus, here I am. I may be a bit of a mess, but I’m Your mess.  Please, give me the daily bread of life, love and laughter. Help me share this bread with my neighbor. Help me delight in the gifts that you have given me today, and help me trust, that even I can tell your story.

Here is the story.

Christ loves you.

Christ died and rose again for you.

Love God.

Love your neighbor.

The End.