Staying in My Lane

I am an action-oriented person. I want to fix situations whether they are mine to fix or not. It is not my best quality.

 Sitting still and waiting have NEVER been my strong point.

When Hot Stuff loses his job, my first reaction is to increase my work hours. To return to teaching ESL. I do both of these things. Then I want to do more? Maybe I return to teaching full time? Maybe I pick up a side gig on the weekends. Maybe, Maybe….

I pray. I want to spring into action. Psalm 37:7 Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him, is the scripture that keeps coming to my heart and mind. UGH. I hate waiting patiently.

I wonder. What does it mean to sit still?

According to Dr. Google, it simply means to surrender and relax.

I ask God, How do I do this? Help. Please.

I am reminded to STAY. IN. MY. LANE.

I take a few days to see what that means. What am I already doing? What doors are opening before me.

I am reminded of Psalm 46: 10,Be still, and know that I am God

I focus on what I already am doing. I hang out with Hot Stuff. I visit with a childhood friend. I have tea parties and chase toads with my preschoolers.

I am reminded I still have a creative self-imposed deadline to work on. “Really?” I ask God. “Play with writing Detective Drew books while Hot Stuff is unemployed?”

Detective Drew is a series of made-up stories I wrote based on four boys that spent time with us during COVID. It’s hobby writing that I’ve been trying to illustrate. I am NOT an illustrator.

In her book Madeleine L’Engle Herself:Reflections on a Writing Life, L’Engle writes:

AN INCARNATIONAL EVENT
Obedience is an unpopular word nowadays,
but the artist must be obedient to the work, whether it
be a symphony, a painting, or a story for a small child. I believe
that each work of art, whether it is a work of great genius, oor something very small,
comes to the artist and says, “Here I am. Enflesh me. Give birth to me.” And the artist
either says, “My soul doth magnify the Lord,” and willingly
becomes the bearer of the work, or refuses; but the obedient
response is not necessarily a conscious one, and not everyone
has the humble, courageous obedience of Mary.

I pray for humility and courageous obedience. It’s a one-day-at-a-time thing.

Today? I stay in my lane.

 I rotate laundry. I plan for the work week ahead. I cook ribs for my family. I blog to cyberspace and I  play with sketches for Detective Drew.  I hand the rest to God and enjoy my lane.