Faith untamed?

It has been several months since Hot Stuff and I took a plunge from social media. During that time, God has been working on both of us.

After three years of staying home with ongoing lupus complications, I started a new job at a local nature based school. I love it!

After the closing of his last factory job, Hot Stuff started a new job at a local bakery. He tolerates it.

We start our mornings with a cup of coffee together and a short prayer before we carpool to our jobs.

I write/draw in the mornings and work part time at this nature based school in the afternoons. Our lives are comfortable. Money is tight..but money is always tight. Nothing new there. By the grace of God we are managing.

There is change in the air and we both know it. We are savoring this time here in our small rental home in South Texas. A home we have now lived in for almost 10 years.

I have been feeling a pull to leave all of our stuff behind and fly to an undisclosed location that is in the midst of an ongoing teacher shortage.

True. The entire country is in need of teachers. But this particular location is in a teacher crisis. I truly believe God has a plan and a purpose for both of us in this undisclosed place. We simply have to take the leap of faith and go.

Hot Stuff and I have been praying about this. Jesus says “Come follow me” Yet. We are still holding back.

We do not have a faith that is wild and free. We like having family near by. We are finally able to pay all of our bills consistently. We don’t know how long my health will hold up. The reasons to stay are endless.

We agree to give ourselves two years to prepare for the move. Why two years? Because apparently our leap of faith is more like baby steps.

Truth is Hot Stuff and I both know that when God moves? We really don’t have control of the timeline. But for now, we continue in our daily routine and pretend we don’t know this.

I realize I have lots of room for growth regarding an untamed faith. Specifically in the area of receiving.

Whenever I pray to God about any situation, he always seems to tell me to “just receive“. It is something I am still learning. I try to bargain with God. “Can’t I take two years to learn how to receive?”

Receive grace. Receive love. Receive criticism. Receive rejection. Receive joy. Just receive life as it is and find the joy of God in the midst.

“Receive the adventures I have in store for you” He whispers.

“I’m scared” I whisper back.

I hope to use this blog to unpack those fears, to learn to let go of my distrust, and learn to embrace the untamed me. The me that is “fearfully and wonderfully made.”

While I am learning, Hot Stuff and I continue to go to our jobs, watch zombie movies, enjoy local family, friends and our pets. We continue our involvement with prison ministry and savor our church family. These are the things we know. We tell ourselves. This is enough.

Deep down, we both know it is not.